Thanks for responding- nice to hear from you and envious of your UC experiences. My husband certainly has his own issues- and I do not require his anxious energy around me during birth- he is around for most of it, but when it gets harder he finds somewhere to wait. I like to imagine he is protecting the birthing room, but in reality I think it more likely he is just smoking!

I know what you mean Monica- it is important for a birthing mother to feel safe and protected- and I think with all the propoganda and misinformation regarding the reality of the safety of hospital births, then a mother could feel anxious staying at home. But it is so very important that the mother has privacy and feels deeply comfortable so that her hormones are able to do the work and she is able to get in to her instintual mammalian self. This is a rare luxury in most hospitals and birthing centres (but could alter- since some mothers do require hospital care, as you state). I plan to write more about this- but Michel Odent has done a better job than I could ever do! XXXX

As I’m single I kind of assume married women have full support of their husbands. But now that you mention, they have their own issues and a midwife or doula could be of good support to the mom.

Just visited your blog and found it so inspiring. A mama of 7 could not be anything but inspiring, right?

I gave birth in a hospital, and that was another nightmare-like story to the list.

However, I still believe that hospital births might be the best option for some families. The point is that hospitals don’t need to be so cold, and midwives and doctors need to aim to a home-like childbirth.

As an unschooler I’ve learnt that there’re many ways of learning that fit different families in different situations, and in some cases unschooling could even include attending school (take it as another experience but not the only means of acquiring knowledge).

In the same way, I see natural responsible childbirth could include relying completely on your instincts, calling a midwife and listen to her suggestions, or even planning a hospital birth.

When I gave birth I was single mama living abroad and had a health condition that scared me. So the only option I considered was going to a hospital. I think it was the right decision in my situation. However, I regret not having researched other options like midwife clinics or maybe just other hospitals. I took for granted they would respect me and my baby at birth, because I read WHO recommendations and thought they would be widely practiced – that was naïve of me

I liked reading your thoughts. I don’t however exactly understand how pushing before the urge to do so ’caused the baby brain damage. Was this a homebirth? I think many would say it was because a c-section wasn’t done.

Anyway, I have had 4 uc’s, even though my husband complained of the blood before our first homebirth. He was freaked out by the idea of touching the baby. He was so afraid we ended up calling the midwife. Funny thing is, for months I thought that the midwife directed his hands to catch our son. While telling our birth story to a friend my husband interrupted and corrected me. He saw our son crowning and he just reached out and caught him. He didn’t think about the blood or anything, just his baby.

But I never could get him to dress in shorts during our labors. He never wanted to get my fluids on him!! (ridiculous!) How funny. Since I desired for him to be more “one” with me than pants and shoes allow, I really had to forgive him through the power of Jesus Christ, because it really bothered me. But I knew that God would want me to forgive my husband and to accept what he was willing to do during our births. Some times I really had to rely solely on God, and other times my husband has been totally there for me. I forgive him for what he couldn’t give me, and I love him for all that he has given me of himself during our 7 births.

God bless you,
Susana
p.s I am linking to your post from by blog
http://spiritledbirth.blogspot.com