I Love You From The Floor To The Cloud

He said so and I know he does.

He loves me from the floor to the cloud because he can’t see what is below the floor and over “the cloud”.

Did I mention I´m feeling good today?

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What I’ve Learned From Indigenous Mothers

Living in the modern capital city of a developing country has allowed me to see traditional moms from many indigenous cultures, as well as middle class city dwellers, very westernized families who live like in the US, and even those who hire a nanny to take care of the kids 24/7.

What I’ve Learned From Indigenous Moms

Among the indigenous mamas I’ve met, there seem to be two main trends: those who use lots of physical punishment so that the child learns to obey their parents without a second thought, but also those very relaxed who let their kids wonder around, get dirty, help with adult chores, and even explore dangerous activities.

I’ve learned from both, and I don’t mean I use physical punishment at all.

Traditional and indigenous moms who use physical punishment seem to provide their kids with lots of physical contact during their first years of life. They cosleep, practice extended breastfeeding and wear their babies until toddlerhood. When the kids are older they set very clear limits on what children can do, otherwise they get punished. This has to be with safety issues but also with household or work chores, and of course with obeying their parents. These kids seem to be very attached to their parents anyway.

I don’t endorse any kind of punishment, but I still can learn from these moms in what I consider to be a good mothering attitude: lots of physical contact and clear limits.

On the other hand, I love to meet the kind of indigenous mothers who don’t rely on punishment. The city is turning to be a bad place to meet them, but those families newly arrived keep some very relaxed attitudes. When in the countryside, the kids are allowed to do all what is safe, and even what to my eyes would not be that safe. These moms are so relaxed that they don’t care if their kids make a mess or a lot of noise. Their environment is also so flexible that a spill here or there means nothing. The kids are allowed to help and they usually are what a western mind would consider “very well behaved”.

I’d like to learn to be this relaxed and open for child messes and noise, although I still want some control over safety issues. I’m an urban mom anyways!

What about you? Do you wish you’d be more relaxed? What is the perfect balance between freedom, safety and limits?

Article about Finding Me Time for Mom

I recently wrote about my low need for “mommy time” and why I believe this happens to me and other mamas I know here in Ecuador. However, I know my ideas and tips might sound unrealistic for moms living in the developed world, if even my close friends find it difficult to believe.

Sure enough that there are plenty of moms who simply lost their peace and who are not enjoying valuable time for themselves, I can only suggest to get your hands on the problem and solve it as soon as possible.

I believe we moms in all different cultures deserve to enjoy motherhood as the true gift it is. But big cities, lots of  “to do”s and complicated lifestyles can represent a threat for mom sanity. Why not take a break, breathe, and find help?

That’s why I want to share this article by Aurelia Williams, a fellow WAHM I know from Mom Masterminds. I’ve been to group coaching with Aurelia and really like the way she makes things look affordable (I mean, doable) and her thoughtful insights.

Enjoy  the article!

photo credit: Sara. Nel

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Mom, Do You Want More Me Time?

By Aurelia Williams, author of Journey to Joy

Let’s see. You did the laundry, dropped the boys off at Karate and the girls at dance class, stopped at the grocery store for a few last minute dinner items…What’s missing? As you were taking care of everyone else all day long, did you remember to take care of yourself?
I know it can be hard to carve out space for you, since being a mom is a full time job, but taking care of yourself helps you have the strength and energy to keep taking care of everyone else, from your children to the snake your son left in the pocket of his dirty jeans. It’s all part of what I teach my Journey to Joy students. It IS possible to find the time to get what you need done.

If trying to squeeze out a few more hours a day just for you seems impossible, why not try one of these ideas:

1. Don’t be afraid to start small. It’s better for you to take five minutes to read the funny pages or your favorite inspirational poem than it is to not take any time at all for you.

2. Get up twenty or thirty minutes earlier than usual and spend some time doing something you enjoy, such as reading the paper while you sip your coffee or meditating. By the time the children wake up, you will be ready to start your busy day.

3. Talk to the other moms at your children’s classes and find out if any of them live nearby. See if several of them are interested in forming a carpool, so you don’t have to make every trip to drop off and pick up the kids.

4. Find another mom who has children that get along well with your kids. Alternate babysitting services with her, so that you each have a few hours of free time every week to go to the gym or get your hair done. Don’t be tempted to do chores instead. You need this time for you and you won’t feel very rested and refreshed if you pick up the dry cleaning, do the grocery shopping, and run the car through the car wash instead of relaxing.

5. Delegate evening chores like setting the table, washing the dishes, and packing the next day’s lunch. If everyone does ten or fifteen minutes of work, you will have enough free time to soak in the tub or read a chapter of the newest best seller.

6. If you cook all of your family’s evening meals and always pack lunch for your children, don’t be afraid to give yourself a break once a week. Pizza every night may be unhealthy, but an occasional slice isn’t too unhealthy for the kids. Eating the occasional school lunch can actually be a fun treat for children, even if it doesn’t taste that great.

Finally, make sure your family realizes the importance of letting you find some time for yourself. Speak with your children about respecting your quiet time, whenever and however you manage to fit it into your day.

Next Steps:

For more help, instantly access your Journey to Joy tools, for more time a happier and more fulfilled life. This inspiring eBook with accompanying audio recordings, worksheets and easy-to-apply action steps shows you how to squeeze more time and happiness into every single day.

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