Who’s having this baby?

The Benefits of Planning for an Unassisted Birth

Guest Post by Emma Okada, Stay at home mother of a baby and a 4 year old

I remember hearing about a breech birth which ended in a baby being brain-damaged.  The mother decided to try to give birth naturally in hospital, but an obstetrician would not let her birth the baby in peace and insisted on coaching her.  She told her to push for very long periods, before the mother was ready to push resulting in lack of oxygen to the baby.  The birth ended in a forceps delivery.  The midwife was extremely rude to the mother throughout the terrible  experience.

Another friend  friend of mine described to me how she had nightmares following the birth of her first child because of the terrible treatment she underwent in hospital during labour.  She was left alone for very long periods of time and her midwife was also dismissive of her needs.

I gave birth to both my children at home.  When my son was born I waited for the midwife to arrive- not an easy thing, down on all fours with the power of Mother Nature in your body, ready to expel a baby quite ripe for meeting the world.  I believed I needed her “just in case”.

Looking back I understand how my thinking has altered.  I used to think that medical experts were responsible for my health, for my children’s health and obviously for the healthy (or otherwise) outcome of the birth of my child- the current blame and sue culture of Western countries.

Nowadays I see quite clearly the, sometimes uncomfortable, reality which is that all those responsibilities ultimately lie with me.  I read “Unassisted Birth” by Laura Shanley, “The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth” by Laurie A. Morgan and joined an Unassisted Birth Yahoo group.  It began to sink in that the outcome of my births was created by my body and my baby.  A successful birth requires a mother willing to surrender to the power of birth with belief first in her own body.

I see that it is crucial to be able to choose your own birth attendants and if not (as in England with the NHS midwives) to have the clarity to ask a midwife to leave if necessary.  To have a full picture of what can happen in births and what is needed to remedy difficult situations- including when you may need to transfer to hospital- is important to all pregnant women, because most Unassisted Births in the Western world are not planned. Situations such as haemorrhage after birth, the placenta not coming away, the cord wrapped around the baby’s neck.

Nowadays it seems odd to me how I viewed my body and my baby as a separate entity to me.  I think I may have even asked the midwife for permission to touch my baby- I certainly thanked her endlessly, although she did nothing apart from turn up to my house and be pretty rude to me (she had no experience of homebirth).  Learning how to feel myself for dilation was a revelation (and in fact quite unnecessary, since a mother knows when she is ready to push)!

There is no need to be frightened by this knowledge. If my friend had known and had the confidence in her own body to dismiss that midwife and let her baby birth the way it needed to, the outcome would surely have been different.  If my other friend had known how to relish being left in peace to birth her baby she would never have felt so petrified and abandoned.

As for me, when my second baby was born I called the midwife- she was very nice and I do not imagine I shall actually undertake an Unassisted Birth since my husband does not want to be alone with me (he does not like blood) and I need someone with me some of the time- I love cuddles during birth.

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